Posts by Pete Zahut

6

Any ex jws Seattle

by Wagurl in

jw
friends

anyone that is near that area in general?

just curious on that?

.

a month ago i travelled alone to italy for three days and i had the opportunity to visit the beautiful florence and re-visit many parts of rome.. but most importantly, i had the opportunity to stay alone and think about my situation and to make up my mind.. i've had very clear for almost 5 years that i will eventually leave the religion, but i couldn't decide when.. but now i know : i will leave on april 20th, the day after the memorial.. that day i will talk to my parents (this is by far the hardest thing to do) and soon afterwards i will talk to my closest friends, then i will send my disassociation letter.

i know that i will let them down, i will hurt them, most probably some of them will cry... but i need to live coherently for the first time in my life.

i'm sure that living in this contradiction is affecting and will affect my mental health and it's time for me to help myself instead of others.

Pete Zahut

I agree with others who recommend that you say nothing....just fade away. It may feel good to get things off your chest but the good feeling will only be momentary.

Most of your friends and family at this point, still want to be lied to. They want their "ears tickled" and they don't want to hear anyone say out loud what they already know. People at this stage are frightened and scared people will act irrationally in order to relieve their fears. This will likely include punishing you for being the one who made them think about things that scare them.

If you slowly fade away, you won't have to face this huge confrontation that you are dreading and if you do it right, you'll still be able to speak to your family and friends and possibly help them.

Trying to use normal logical thinking to handle people who are themselves trapped in a religious cult, won't work. You need to help yourself first before you can help anyone else. Fading isn't being cowardly...you are simply making the best of a crazy situation.

Again...think twice about putting anything in writing or sharing your plans with any JW. You already know what they think and what they'll do, why put yourself through that?

6

Child Abuse n Jws Just the tip of iceberg (must read)

by ZindagiNaMilegiDobaara in

https://www.vrt.be/vrtnws/en/2019/03/30/jehovah-s-witnesses-child-abuse-scandal-only-the-tip-of-the-ic/.

jehovah's witnesses child abuse scandal: "only the tip of the iceberg".

pascal mertens, an activist against child sex abuse among jehovah's witnesses, claims that the number of complaints in the public domain are only the tip of the iceberg.

Pete Zahut

I will gradually learn abusive slang))

I hope not....I'm no prude but I don't know why a former JW or (anyone else for that matter) would resort to such a low level form of communication especially when it seems so uncalled for in this case.

29

Funeral Fashion

by ThinkerBelle in

i have a funeral to attend for a non jw family member and the jdub family member reminded me that i should not wear black.

for the life of me, i can't recall where this belief came from in jw teachings and i'm born in.

is there something in print or is that just a personal opinion belief?

Pete Zahut

The biggest reason JW's don't wear black at a funeral is because unlike the awful people in the world, they don't want to appear to be too glum about the death of the loved one since they have the belief that they'll be resurrected any day now. How would it look to go from door to door saying that the end is near and then being all grief stricken, upset and wearing black just because someone you cared about died.

15

Serving where the need is great or serving where their needs are great?

by truthseeker in

jw
friends

have any of you come across this rare breed of jw?.

i know a brother who spends 9 months of the year living in a caribbean island where he is an active jw and then he flies back to his home european country for 3 months to work and save up so he can fly back out again.

he is an active jw in his home country.. he's not a missionary and has never been to gilead though he attended pioneer school back in the '90s.

Pete Zahut

Serving where the need is more fun gets you the accolades of your peer group and a network of connections from whom you can take full advantage of for jobs, accommodations, meals and anything else you might need.

I've never heard of anyone going to Nome Alaska or anywhere in the frozen north. It's always some sunny destination.

31

Lazy field service

by Addison0998 in

did anyone else have really lazy people in their congregation when it came to the field circus.

people where i live are shamelessly lazy, they drive door to door even when the houses are 3 feet apart!

yes even in town houses they drive door to door.

Pete Zahut

Please dont paint them all with the same stroke.

I know better than to jump to a conclusion about and entire cross section of people based on the actions of a few of them, but as I said, this incident did make me "wonder" about the level of common sense the average JW possessed these days.

I was thinking that perhaps after the many changes that have taken place in the teachings and practices of JW's since I left 9 years ago, those who remained and who could overlook the inconsistencies in the teachings and ignore the bad press, were also daft enough to drive a fully loaded minivan down a public sidewalk rather than park it and walk from house to house.

I know one thing for sure. These particular individuals and the ones I've talked to at my door and at the literature carts in various places in the world, are not of the same caliber as the JW's of old that I knew growing up in the 1975 era. It doesn't seem to matter to them when they see obvious holes in their teachings or don't know anything about the history or current behind the scenes goings on of the religion who's beliefs they say they are willing to die for.

31

Lazy field service

by Addison0998 in

did anyone else have really lazy people in their congregation when it came to the field circus.

people where i live are shamelessly lazy, they drive door to door even when the houses are 3 feet apart!

yes even in town houses they drive door to door.

Pete Zahut

Until I retired a few weeks ago I worked as a City Right of Way Inspector. I was on my way to a project site when I saw a car group (mini van) full of JW out in service one day and they were literally driving down the City sidewalk and stopping at each house one by one.

I stopped them and asked them what they were doing and why they would possibly think it was OK for them to be driving a vehicle on a public sidewalk. They said the street was far too busy for them to stop at each house. I told them they were not only blocking the sidewalk and endangering the public but their tires were crushing the plants and possibly the irrigation system located in the planting strip along the side of the sidewalk. When I asked them why they didn't simply park at the end of the block and walk down the sidewalk, they gave me the blankest looks and said nothing.

Rather than siting them I asked them to get off the sidewalk as soon as their companions were done at the current house and had returned to the vehicle. Instead of leaving the sidewalk at the next driveway apron, they drove over the planting bed and dropped off the curb right into traffic.

I'm not sure if this was just an isolated incident but it made me wonder what level of common sense the average JW has these days.

32

Why I don,t believe in reincarnation.

by jam in

jw
friends

it,s simple, i can not remember crap from my previous life.. the wife told me today if you come back in the next life, please.

take some science classes.. if i could remember a small percentage of my life today, just a little.

bit, man would it make a difference.. in school i would be 100% nerd, geek, book worm.

Pete Zahut

This post reminds me of how back when I was a kid I had a JW friend who as an ice breaker would go up to cute girls at the assembly during intermission and ask them if they believed in the Hereafter.

As expected they'd always say "No".

To which he'd reply "Then what are you here after ?? ".

They'd laugh and or roll their eyes but it usually worked.

27

Need help. Daughter wants to leave org but does not know how.

by Indian Larry in

jw
friends

long question, but very important.. i can use some help.

my daughter wants out of the organization and i need some advise.. here is my background in a nutshell.

i am fully faded for 10+ years.

Pete Zahut

I think I'd try to help your daughter to see that although it may feel like it at times, her JW situation isn't an emergency and that there's no need for her take it all so seriously. JW's tend to think that the world is watching their every move and that everything they do is of global significance. Each JW is made to feel that they are personally representing the organization and even God himself. Even poor little Sophia in the JW cartoon video was made to feel that she had the ability to make the creator of the universe sad if she bought herself a little ice cream cone instead of giving the money to the Kingdom Hall.

Your daughter and most of us here, have been carrying this mental load our entire life and it's all so completely unnecessary. Nothing they've ever said has happened and there's no hard data to prove any of the things they believe in.

She is undoubtedly very anxious so I think I'd let her know that as far as you're concerned she's off the hook. She's free to choose to quit going altogether, attend once in awhile or to keep attending regularly so that she can see her friends and she can pay as much or as little attention to what's being discussed at the meetings as she chooses.

I'd line up a few names and phone numbers of Counselors for her to talk to and let her know that she free to decide whether or not to go see one of them if she thinks she needs to. In the meantime, I think you can help her understand that there's nothing wrong with her and that what she is experiencing is completely normal under the circumstances. Help her understand that she has complete control over her thoughts, feelings and emotions and can decide how seriously she wants to take all of this.

39

When you were an active JW, did you ever have dealings with a pyramid scheme?

by Tameria2001 in

i'm not sure why this memory popped up, and i was wondering if any others, when they were still active jw had dealings with a pyramid scheme involving other witnesses in the organization?

at the time it was 1993, and my husband and i were still newlyweds.

once in a while, we would attend a neighboring congregation because that was where he grew up, and some of his family was still attending there at the time.

Pete Zahut

Over the years I must have encountered all of the different angles JW's got involved with to get rich quick in the guise of wanting to make enough money to pioneer or ride out this wicked system of things.

The use of anecdotal stories rather than data was the norm but the biggest red flag for me was when being part of the selling of the product was more important than the product itself. The next giveaway was when they used expressions such as "we're really excited about this product", "Double blind studies have shown", "third party independent testing proves..."

I remember there was there was one product called Nikken and they sold magnetic headbands for migraine headaches and expensive mattress toppers for insomnia.

There was also one called "Super Blue Green Algae". This was literally pond scum that was supposed to not only make your rich but cure all of your ills and make you smarter to boot.

Oh well...scammers gotta' eat too I suppose.